Wednesday, August 21, 2019

Tweet From Trump


OK, enough talking. I made a bona fide offer, in good faith, to take the damn island off their hands. My overture was met by mockery and nasty laughter. These Danes are too stupid to realize the value of the real estate they are sitting on. With the glaciers melting, thanks to my far-sighted rejection of Obama’s plan to reduce global warming (so dumb), we can now access tremendous quantities of rare earth, whatever the hell that is, and break China’s monopoly of the damn stuff. After that, we can design, as only I can, a huge golf course spanning the entire island with enough space to set aside a few holes for the natives which, of course, will be walled off from the money making part of the course (oh Vlad, we’ll be so rich together).

So I have now directed my remaining generals to prepare an invasion of Greenland, starting at 5AM tomorrow (or thereabouts, I don’t like being predictable and unless I change my mind) and take for the USA the God-given wealth of the planet which would otherwise be left unexploited.  Make America and the big oil companies GREAT AGAIN.

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